Blue Cast Day 9: With the Lord's help, nothing is impossible.

Sorry for the delay (assuming you've been waiting for this that is!). Written yesterday but had no time to post it!

I can’t believe it’s Monday already! Where did the weekend go?!

So Friday at Pageant…

The morning was spent taking it easy and going slow – with the morphine out of my system I felt a lot more with the program but was trying to follow advice and not overdo things! In the afternoon Elder Holland and Elder Nelson (two more Apostles) came to see us and took the devotional. It was amazing. When I lived in Abu Dhabi, Elder Holland came over for one of our Stake Conferences in Dubai so I loved having another opportunity to hear him speak. He told us about when they were looking for a Temple site in Chorley; he found the site where the Temple currently stands and knew it was the right place. On his way back to Solihull, he pulled over and called President Hinckley to let him know. When President Hinckley heard how big the site was he responded that it was too big. Elder Holland replied “We’ll use it!”

“That’s what I’m afraid of!”

It shows the foresight Elder Holland had; that site now holds a Missionary Training Centre, a Family History Centre, Accommodation Centre, Distribution and a Stake Centre in addition to the originally planned Temple. Plus for the last three weeks it held a marquee that could house 1500+ people.

Ben (one of the narrators in the pageant) had arranged a version of ‘Nearer My God to Thee’, linking it with the Pageant theme for the choir to sing for the Apostles. It was brilliant, very moving.

After the devotional I attempted to run through one of the dances, but unfortunately my head decided it wasn’t quite ready for it! Beth (our fab choir director) had kindly said that I could rejoin the choir if I wasn’t up to family cast again. So back I went into the choir. Initially I felt pretty down about it, like I was letting down my district and my ‘moving with joy’ partners. Everyone was so supportive and reassuring though, I love them all for it. Looking down from the choir on Friday, knowing the people onstage personally was a very different experience than the week before. I felt quite emotional watching and not feeling a part of it with my district family. But what really got me was the moment that Heber C Kimball arrived in England and said that he felt inadequate to teach the people. I felt very moved to realise that I’m not the only person who feels inadequate at times; even Apostles of the Lord have their moments where they feel that way, and I found the reminder very reassuring. There will always be times when we feel inadequate for the task ahead of us. But when those times come I need to focus on what I do know; that I am a daughter of God, and with His help, nothing is impossible (Philippians 4:13 - "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me")

Blue Cast Day 8: Surround yourself with those you can trust.

Thursday's post (a bit late!):

So today I was pretty out of it for most of the day. I was in so much pain in A&E that they gave me morphine (which I never want to have again!) – the doctor was giving it to me and telling me to let him know when the pain stopped.

“Is it still hurting?”

“Yes.”

“Now?”

“Yes.”

Repeat a few times, then cue a warm tingly feeling – but not in a good warm tingly way – and me going “I don’t want anymore!”

Doctor: “That’s good because I’ve just finished the dose.”

After that I was out for the next hour or so. Apparently that was a good thing because my sister told me afterwards that the police had to take someone out of A&E for kicking off. At least I slept through that!

Due to the dose they’d given me I was in and out of it for much of the morning. When I finally managed to get up (no hair washing as I have to keep the area they glued dry for 5 days!) my sister arrived shortly after – she and her husband stayed in Chorley last night to make sure I was alright today. She took good care of me, making sure I was eating and drinking and not overdoing things.

This evening Elder Ballard (an Apostle) came and spoke to us for our devotional. To be honest I think I was still a bit out of it as I don’t remember all that he said. It was great to have an Apostle with us though, and several General Authorities of the Church too. Since I couldn’t be in the pageant tonight (doctor’s orders were to take it easy today L ) I sat and watched it for the first time. I was one aisle and one seat away from Elder Ballard and his wife which was pretty cool! The woman who sat next to me was the wife of the Prague mission President (I’m pretty sure that’s what she said at the end but like I said, I was a tad out of it!) and was lovely. She and her husband had come over especially for the Pageant and she really enjoyed it.

I loved having the opportunity to watch from the audience, but really missed being a part of it tonight. I’m reminding myself to continue counting my blessings though as everyone I saw today was so kind and caring; the medics who helped look after me yesterday, members of my district family, my dance partners, and my choir family from last week to name just a few. My roommates have been fab, I will really miss them when we all leave here! After the performance I headed outside as I needed fresh air, and Natalie (one of my sister’s sister-in-laws) spotted me and insisted on walking me back to my room. I was really grateful to her as I was feeling a little bit woozy by then and needed to lean on someone in order to feel safe walking back! Hopefully tomorrow I’ll be fully back to normal, though I have been offered the chance to return to the choir if I’m not up to being onstage yet.

As I was trying to think of something profound to title this post, the first that came to mind was 'Don't do drugs'! I had never had morphine before, and now that I have, I hope I never need it again. Did it relieve the pain I was in? Yes. But I found it scary to feel such a lack of control over my limbs and to feel so out of it. I learned that if you are in a position like that, it's important to have people around you that you can trust to help you, like my sister and friends who I feel very blessed to have had around me.

Blue Cast Day 7: Count your blessings.

So I’m a little late catching up on yesterday’s blog…but I’ll get to the reason for that in a bit.

As I was reading in 2 Nephi 26 yesterday, verse 31 really seemed to jump out at me; ‘…the labourer in Zion shall labour for Zion…’ President Kerr has told us several times that here at pageant we are creating our own little Zion, our own place for the pure in heart. It is so true, I love it being a part of this, a place where we all look out for each other and genuinely care about each other. And we are here for Zion – none of us are being paid to get onstage every night, or to sing in the choir, or to paint the stage. We are here because we want to be; because it feels right to be here.

We were given the day off yesterday, so after enjoying the feeling of not having to set an alarm, I met up with a couple of friends and we did some family history work. I love that family history is just like piecing together a puzzle; it is such a good feeling to discover your own ancestors and know that they are a part of your family.

As we were working on family history I started to get stomach ache. I carried on for a bit before going to lay down, and figured I could make it through the show, especially since my sister and her husband were coming to see it. I got ready and made it to the chapel for our evening devotional which was great. After our district meetings it was time for pre-pageant activities. Not feeling up to much, I went to the theatre to see my sister who had arrived before making my way back to the chapel. I was walking along the corridor when I went completely dizzy and felt sick and the next thing I knew I was waking up on the floor with a head wound! I guess I just wanted to be dramatic because somehow I woke up on the opposite side of the corridor, despite clutching onto the wall of the side I was on. No idea how I managed that!

The medics here are fantastic. They cleared the corridor in no time, checked me over before moving me and managed to help me move out of the way as quickly and safely as they could. Once I was cleaned up a bit they arranged for me to be taken to hospital. I felt awful because each of the three dances I am in I have a partner for, and I didn’t want to let anyone down, but they were very reassuring that they would get the message to the relevant people. Sarah (my sister) also insisted on going with me to the hospital. She was great to have around although I feel bad that she missed it. I’m hoping she’ll be able to come back to see it before we finish on Saturday as it is an amazing experience. I got more than a few odd looks dressed as I was in Victorian-style clothing but they seemed to understand once my sister explained (I think most people in Chorley/Preston have heard of the LDS British Pageant by now!)

The aftermath - once the bleeding had stopped!

I don’t know if there was a reason for me to pass out and whack my head (the doctor put it down to lack of food – I hadn’t eaten dinner because I wasn’t feeling great and so didn’t feel hungry – but it wouldn’t be the first time I’ve missed a meal because I felt ill and I’ve never fainted quite so dramatically before!), but as strange as it sounds, I have a lot to be thankful for. My sister (who works in a hospital) was around to go with me and help me out, I didn’t gash my eyes or break my nose when I passed out, there are numerous wonderful Priesthood holders here able to give Priesthood blessings when needed, and I have great roommates (one of whom stayed up until gone midnight to make sure I was okay). Sarah and her husband even stayed over in Chorley so they could check on me today and bring me things like dry shampoo since I’m not allowed to get the front of my head wet for 5 days as they glued the cut closed.

So all in all, I am really counting my blessings J

Blue Cast Day 6: Energy begets energy.

We did it! Opening night and I'm still buzzing.

This morning we began at 9am running through a few scenes before doing a full run through. At one point when talking us through a scene, Alex reminded us to have energy, to really let our individual/family 'stories' shine through. I love her words to us; that energy begets energy, that the more we could give in rehearsal, the more we would be able to give tonight. That was so true! But back to rehearsal...

Yesterday's dress rehearsal for me, though fantastic, felt quite hectic. I was still learning my cues (and I admit to a bit of panic at times about whether or not I'd remember them in time!) and felt that I needed to rush between scenes in order to be in position in time. Today's run through, for whatever reason, felt much calmer. We knew where to be, we had time to breathe in between scenes and we all pulled together to help each other be ready. I love my district group (I'm in the Heber C Kimball group). What amazing people. There are three families plus me, and they have made me feel part of their families already in the few short days we have had together.

The children are such examples to us all - the youngest girl in our group was running across the stage at one point when we were having a prayer, and as soon as the word 'prayer' was whispered she stopped and folded her arms reverently to pray. When we're standing backstage waiting to go on she is so good at being silent (all the children are, it's amazing!) and will even tell others to be quiet by tiptoeing over and putting her finger on her lips.

Tonight's performance proved Alex's words from earlier in the day totally right. There was so much energy (I even remembered all the dance steps)!

I was told by someone tonight (who had seen all the performances so far) that this was the best night yet. I am so thankful to the Red Cast who performed last week - the only reason we are able to push ourselves as much as we have is because they laid a solid foundation for us to build on. I saw them perform and they were incredible. I'm so grateful to them for doing such an amazing job that we really do have to stretch ourselves to the limit in order to improve on it - we are all the better for it. 

Blue Family Cast Day 5: Stay focused and listen to guidance.

Today was the day for our Blue Cast dress rehearsal. Beginning at 9am we ran through various scenes, particularly those with dancing in (thankfully my calf muscles are feeling much better than they were!) I managed to get the ending right on a dance that had been giving me some trouble, and was so pleased that I’d managed it that I fist pumped...not very Victorian of me, oops! Thankfully I managed to avoid doing that again (probably because I didn’t do the ending quite so well after that!)

We spent the morning and a portion of the afternoon going through scenes, and ‘cleaning’ them up. As Alex (our artistic director) reminded us, when Nephi (in the Book of Mormon) was commanded by the Lord to build a ship, the ship wasn’t the important thing – the important thing was that they got to the Promised Land. Still, the ship needed to be watertight. So it is with this Pageant – the performance is not the important thing; the important thing is that people come and feel the Spirit, that they feel uplifted by what they see and hear, and that their hearts are touched by it. But in order for that to happen, we need to give it our all, to do our very best to share our story – our heritage – with them.

Later in the afternoon we did a full run through. It made me realise just how quickly an hour and a half can go – when you are running it continuously there is very little time to do anything but check when and where you next come on and get into position! Fortunately it went pretty well.

I was fed again at dinner today – by the same friend who fed me yesterday J She has two girls who are in the family cast with us (as well as a son in the core cast) and they are fantastic, full of energy and so enthusiastic about being here. I loved sitting in the dining room/lounge as families and friends crowded in to eat, sharing the food they’d made with others and talking and laughing together. It’s a wonderful atmosphere.

After that it was time to get ready for our dress rehearsal this evening. A friend of mine arrived yesterday to join the choir for the week – I haven’t seen her for around 7 years so it’s great to see her again! I attempted to help her with putting her hair in a Victorian style and discovered my talents lie elsewhere (and I apologise to her for that!). Still, I managed a passable attempt and hopefully someone more skilled will be around to help for opening night tomorrow! If not I’m sure I’ll improve with practise…right?!

Then came the dress rehearsal...it wasn’t perfect, and we made mistakes, but we learn from those mistakes and tomorrow will be better than ever! I realised again how tough it is being in the family cast – in the choir you are onstage the whole time and just have to listen for the music cues (which takes concentration enough!). In the family cast you have to be aware of music and dialogue cues, to know where to enter and where to exit at each point, and stay very focused! When we aren’t onstage we wait in the ‘Green room’ (a large tent behind the theatre) and Martha (the assistant stage manager) lets us know via the speakers which districts/groups are needed for each scene. She’s great at doing that, repeating it several times so that it’s clear for anyone who may have missed the first time, but we need to be so focused and listen carefully or it’s easy to miss it, since we need to keep the volume on the speakers turned down as the sound carries through to the stage area if we don’t.

I loved being part of the family cast today; the way we all worked together and helped each other to remember to stay quiet when waiting to go on, watching the children interact as quietly as they could with each other (often turning it into a game), and being part of my district ‘family’. I’m hoping that as I get used to where I need to enter and exit the stage each time I’ll be able to enjoy the moments more. Ben (our Assistant Music Director) summed up what I learned tonight when he said it showed how much we need to focus and listen to the instructions we are given despite the noise or distractions that may be going on around us, otherwise it can be easy to miss our cues. And isn’t that just like life? We have to listen carefully to the promptings of the Spirit (some might call it instinct or intuition) to know what we should do at certain times; like how best to reach out and help another person. But what is so wonderful and merciful about it is that our Heavenly Father is patient with us; if we miss our cue He will find a way to gently nudge us in the right direction. Having said that, we have to remember that it is our choice each time, He will never force us. If we respond to His cues, we will have success and be in the right place at the right time, ready for whatever He has planned. But if we choose to ignore it, we will miss out on what could be a great moment in our lives.

Blue Family Cast Day 4: Be not weary

For the first time in awhile I might actually manage to post this the same day that I write it! (It’s unlikely to last, sorry!)

As today is the Sabbath, we had sacrament meeting at 9am. Chorley has four wards (that I’m aware of anyway, it could be more!) so we met in the pageant theatre to avoid disrupting their meetings. Two cast members were asked to share their testimonies and it was great to hear how pageant has touched their lives and the Spirit they have felt here. I loved that we sang a cappella; Beth (our choir director) leading us with all four parts clearly audible for each hymn. Even though I’m losing my voice I couldn’t refrain from belting out the closing hymn with everyone! I’m grateful to be in the family cast this week – I don’t think my voice could hold out another week in the choir! That said, it doesn’t stop me from humming/singing the pageant songs spontaneously. They are so compelling I just can’t seem to resist!

After sacrament meeting, the family cast were asked to stay to learn the songs. I was allowed off the hook as I’ve been here for choir all week, and initially planned to nap for a bit. Instead I ended up talking with a friend and had a great time getting to know her better. We have been choir buddies all week and shared in the emotion of each night, particularly with the finale songs. I will miss being up on the bridge with her and my other friends in choir, though many have left anyway.

This afternoon we rehearsed the opening half of the pageant. It might seem unusual to be rehearsing on the Sabbath day, until you consider that this is not your typical production run to make a profit, but a pageant that shares the truth we know, meant to uplift and inspire those who attend. We had fun going through the scenes where families are grouped together and it was great to spend some time getting to know members of my Blue Family Cast district (group) better. The children in our district have amazing amounts of energy, they are great!

We were expecting to rehearse again after the fireside (church meeting) this evening, but at the end of that half of rehearsal we were told that we had done so well that we could have the evening off and come back ready in the morning! It really was a blessing of the Sabbath – an extra measure of the Spirit to help us do better than usual.

Dinner was a great opportunity to get to know people better – one of the lovely women in my district had invited me and several others to dinner and the kitchen was filled with cast and choir members making their dinners, talking and laughing and even occasionally bursting into song (usually pageant ones though I did hear a couple of random ones thrown in for variation!) I love that the feeling of unity doesn’t end when we step off the stage or leave the pageant theatre each day. There really is a spirit of Zion here. The members of the choir for this week arrived today so we are looking forward to their voices blending together each evening this week. I know I've mentioned it before, but the music really does add another level to this pageant.

This evening’s fireside was so uplifting. I love that our Pageant Presidency are able to share humorous moments as well as very spiritual ones. President Roberts shared a scripture with us found in Doctrine and Covenants 64:33-34: “Wherefore be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great. Behold the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind.” That is so applicable to us here! We ARE tired, but keep on giving. We are giving the Lord our hearts and willing minds in this and it is the small things that are making this pageant so great.

President Kerr reminded us that our time here is not an experience that lasts for a limited time; a week, a month, a year…but an experience that will be with us, part of us, for the rest of our lives. I am so grateful for that reminder.

As I was listening to the speakers during the fireside, I had a few thoughts. The first was that everyone here has made sacrifices to be here. Those sacrifices – to me at least – somehow equalises us all. Perhaps because of that, we are willing to serve each other and lift each other, and the Lord is blessing us for it. We are able to cope on less sleep than usual – and still keep smiling! We are able to perform to a standard that people with our rehearsal time should not be able to perform to. We are living the gospel and loving it. President Kerr also shared a comment made by the BBC cameraman that visited earlier this week – apparently he had never seen a happier bunch of people, which brings to mind a scripture found in 2 Nephi 2:25: “Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.”

There is great joy here in Chorley, and I hope that any of you who are still without tickets will find a way to get here so that we can share it with you.

Red Choir Day 7 (final day!), Blue Cast Day 3: A Marvellous Work and a Wonder

I know I keep saying it to people, but this pageant really does keep getting better and better.

Today began with the Blue Family Cast meeting together in the marquee/theatre and running through some scenes. We needed to know when to come in and when to exit. After a morning of doing that I thought things were going pretty well – my aches weren’t disappearing but at least my calf muscles were able to rest from all the dancing (sorry, the ‘moving with joy’ as we call it here! The reason being that we can all move with joy – we might not all be able to dance!). Then after lunch we learnt a new dance and ran through the two we had already learned. Fortunately the new one wasn’t as taxing for me, but the other two are a lot more energetic and boy am I feeling it now!
This evening’s performance was the last performance for the Red Cast. Although some are staying (including our wonderful core cast), many are leaving tonight so it was an emotional time for them. I will miss them all, but found I didn’t feel too sad because I know I will see them again. The friendships we are building here are not temporary ones for the duration of our stay, but lasting ones. I am blessed to be part of both casts; the dynamics of each cast are very different, but equally wonderful to be a part of. I love my choir family, and will miss being with them this week. But I already love my BFC family. We are having such a great time learning the dances (despite my aching calf muscles!) and I look forward to spending this week continuing to learn and grow with them.
Before the pageant tonight, Alex (our artistic director) gave us some points to work on and made a few changes. Change is the rule here, and I feel that one reason for that is to stop us from becoming complacent. As soon as we start getting complacent, we risk losing the Spirit, and the pageant would not be what it has been. By Alex (and others heading up the pageant) making changes when they feel prompted to do so, we are kept focused and reminded that our goal is to share the truth we know, and to bring others closer to their Saviour, Jesus Christ.
For me, tonight’s performance was the most powerful one yet (I know I said that about last night’s, but honestly it just keeps getting better). I hope I’m not giving too much away when I say that as the choir we represent the ancestors – those who have gone before. My family and friends all know how hooked I got on family history a couple of years ago. I really have felt the spirit of Elijah (Malachi4:6). Tonight I felt close to my own ancestors as we sang together and watched what was going on below. I could imagine them watching us and I am so grateful that as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we know that they will have the opportunity to hear the gospel.
Several people afterwards told me how impressed they were with the performance, and how wonderful the choir was. As a teacher, I have seen the effect music can have on the children I work with, and it truly can lift us and teach us in ways that nothing else can.
I spoke with some ladies afterwards who had travelled by coach from Scotland – what a journey for them! One is a great-grandmother, and it was lovely to hear her experience of the pageant and how moved she was by it.

To borrow the words of the prophet Isaiah; this truly is “a marvellous work and a wonder.”